Tis the Season to be Melancholy
Seasonal depression is real. It’s an almost tangible substance that wraps itself around our minds during the fall and winter months leaving us depleted entering into the new year. Seasonal depression is impartial— whether you’re diagnosed with depression or not—you may find yourself feeling low over the next few months. I would like to say that holidays like Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Christmas— all of the holidays celebrated in the Fall through Winter help alleviate depression with all that comes with the festivities, but in many cases, the holidays make matters of the mood worse. The holidays trigger even more depression as we navigate broken relationships the death and loss of loved ones, the end of the fiscal year and budgets that don’t cover the cost of gifts and the expenses of the holiday season. Admittedly, each year around this time, I suffer extreme emotions that have made me feel on the edge of my very existence—one move and it’s over. Don’t let the smile fool you—I am no stranger to sadness and the emotions that come with seasonal depression. I can’t describe the unbearable mental and emotional anguish and deep sadness I have experienced over the years during this time. So many tears shed.
This year, I’m doing something different. I’m being intentional about not giving in to the sadness I feel this time of year. This intentionality, I hope, will help me navigate the emotional storm that has already started brewing in my life. So far, it’s going well and I’m thankful that I have decided to be intentional about shifting my mood.
With that, here’s what I’m doing over the next several months to help me counter seasonal depression:
I acknowledge the depression and sadness. I give voice to the feelings of depression which in a sense disempowers it. I speak aloud and acknowledge that I feel depressed which shifts the power from the emotion to me. I say ‘I feel depressed’ rather than ‘I am depressed.’ When we say, ‘I am depressed’ that connects who you are—your being—to the depression. You are not depression or sadness rather you feel depression or sadness. Both are feelings and feelings come and go given the circumstances. By making the depression speakable, it gives voice to the emotion that may have gone unnoticed. I liken this to having an intruder in your home. You are aware the intruder is in your home and you acknowledge aloud that you know someone is in the house. Once you acknowledge the intruder is in the house, as you can imagine, this would make the intruder shift his approach in violating your sacred space. “Uh-oh, she knows I’m here.“ Acknowledging the presence of the emotion disarms it.
I intentionally elevate my mood. Now that I’ve acknowledged the depression, I know it’s there, I must be intentional to shift my mood and not give in to the feelings of depression. This is critical in countering seasonal depression. This is the cross-road, the pivotal point of moving past the sadness and towards joy.
Exercise: Exercise is one of the activities that scientifically elevates mood. I exercise to elevate my mood and I feel amazing afterwards. It gives me a jump start for the day and energizes me. For me, exercising gives me a heightened awareness that helps me better monitor my mood. I’m better aware of my emotions when I consistently exercise and I feel better.
Music: For me, music can serve as an instant pick-me-upper with tracks like Migos “Stir Fry” or Darius Rucker’s “Homegrown Honey” where the beat makes me tap my foot and move my body to the sounds. I listen to songs that I love to sing. Even if I’m off-key, I find joy in singing songs that make me feel good. Daniel Caesar’s “Best Part” is one of my favorites. I know I’m off-key, but I love singing this song. For you, listening to the song may trigger past relationship woes. By all means, don’t choose that song. Choose songs that truly elevate your mood.
Food: This is a tricky one, especially for folks who abuse food and use it to escape dealing with the emotion. Instead of dealing with the emotion and countering the mood with activities that will help elevate our mood, we eat and eat and eat, and oftentimes, we’re chowing down on the foods that aren’t high on the healthy charts. Overeating and eating to escape can make you feel worse than you felt before you took the first bite. Yet, I offer food does help elevate your mood. I relish a cold navel orange or well-seasoned jerk chicken, cabbage, and plantains. Eating what I enjoy makes me feel good. Grab a piece of chocolate, if that’s your thing, and savor each bite of the delectable treat. If you have an issue with using food to escape negative emotions, it’s probably best not to indulge in using food to help counter seasonal depression.
Good People: There’s nothing like being surrounded by good people. This season, I am intentionally connecting with people who will get me out of the house. Depression isolates and tries to keep you separate from the people who actually care about you. I am intentionally spending time with people who enjoy my company and whose company I enjoy. In the company of good people, we laugh, we smile, we keep it 100, we share in each other’s life and we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Even sharing with my close friends that I’m struggling with seasonal depression helps give me a tribe of people who can keep me encouraged. It’s connecting with people in real and meaningful ways that energizes me and shifts my mood.
I choose to be joyful. There are several times over the past few weeks that I have felt the sadness creep in and attempt to suffocate me and cloud my judgment. The sadness disconnects me from those who love me and it’s at those times that I choose to be joyful which supersedes how I feel. It’s a conscious choice to choose joy. I promise you— I do not feel joyful. Quite frankly, I feel discouraged and downright sad but I make the conscious decision to be joyful regardless of how I feel. I’m not a fan of cliches, but I think it’s appropriate here: “Just Do it.” Don’t give into the feelings instead do the opposite of the emotion. Here’s another: “Fake it until you make it.” Be joyful, friends. This takes intentional effort on our part to shift our energy away from the sadness that tries to encapsulate us this season. Choose joy.
I’m sure there are a number of other strategies to counter seasonal depression. I’m intentionally focused on three. It’s the simplicity of three that makes me feel better positioned to counter the depression in a manageable way. I could say I’ll eat healthy, exercise five times a week, speak positive affirmations, listen to motivational speeches and the list goes on of all of the strategies I could implement to counter depression. That’s too much for me to manage.
So the journey begins with intentionally countering seasonal depression. First acknowledging that I feel depressed and then being intentional about choosing joy and engaging in activities that intentionally elevate my mood. I write this from the perspective of someone who is diagnosed with depression and deals with depression 365. Though, it’s something about this time of year that exacerbates my emotions making them hard to cope with. It’s my hope that following these tips will put me on track to calming the storm that comes with this time of year.
Wish me luck/Pray for Me/Send Positive Energy and Vibes as I embark on this new journey!
